Why can’t you be more like…? – Every child is unique and an individual.
Why don’t you act your age? – Many times when we insist a child act their age, they are acting their age.
Must you always be such a slob? – Criticism only lays the groundwork for an unproductive power struggle. The key is to strike a balance.
You’re the funny one /athletic one /pretty one… – Labels we give children can be problematic. And if you use a negative label, it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy.
How could you be so stupid? – ‘Stupid’ is a loaded word that can be especially damaging to a child’s self-esteem and confidence, compounding a belief they are not unconditionally loved.
Sometimes I wish I’d never had kids. – A child hears “You’re worthless; I wish you weren’t my kid. I don’t want you”. A child can carry such hurtful messages around, even unconsciously into adulthood.
Leave me alone! – An angry dismissal of a child can make them feel unloved and unwanted.
Shut up! – Apart from being impolite, degrading, controlling and demeaning, children learn by example.
Just do it – or else! – A child may not be motivated by something so unspecific.
If you don’t come with me now, I’ll leave without you. – The threat of abandonment as a discipline tool is a destructive approach to take, and pretty scary for a child. It reinforces a fear that young children already have – that a parent might disappear and never come back.
IT’S NEVER TOO LATE TO LEARN – NEVER TOO LATE TO CHANGE – WE ALL MAKE MISTAKES – WE NEED TO LEARN FROM THEM – FORGIVE OURSELVES – AND MOVE ON.